t/lei-refresh-mail-sync: speed up test on FreeBSD 12

And improve reliability while we're at it.  It seems closing a
TCP listen socket on FreeBSD 12.2 doesn't cause connect()-ing
clients to fail.  This happens regardless of whether a socket is
IPv4 or IPv6

This non-failure was causing tests to timeout slowly on the
client side instead of failing immediately.  We now fork a new
process which does nothing but accept() + shutdown() to emulate
a dead server.

Reliability improves on all OSes since there's never a point in
time when another process can bind the socket.

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